Things I’ve Said This Week
Every now and then I hear myself saying things out loud while the voice inside my head is frowning and saying Seriously? You’re seriously saying that out loud? Of course this contrary juxtaposition of verbalisation versus cognitive process is always always ALWAYS prompted by my kids. It’s fair to say my kids make me say dumb things, strange things, unusual things. They make me say things that should never be said.
Here are my best examples from this week. Things I’ve said, while my brain listens with disbelief.
- “I’m not sure if Noah invited unicorns onto the ark.”
- “Well, they say elephants never forget and I’ve heard people joke that goldfish can’t even remember swimming around their goldfish bowls. But I can’t comment on the memory of a Blue Whale and I certainly don’t know which animal has the best memory.”
- “Can you please just get dressed instead of standing around wet and naked and playing the cat like it’s a banjo?”
- “It is 5:30am on a Thursday in the school holidays. Why are you awake and out of bed?”
- “Don’t shove the cat up your poncho.”
So – don’t leave me out here hanging. Listen carefully this week and gather some of your own and share them here, so we can all shake our heads together!
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Publications by Gabbie
My non-fiction books and essays Teacher, Dear Parents and Teaching Australia explore “teacher life” in Australian schools. I also write fiction! The Things That Matter Most is a story about the heartbreaking secrets of one student and his teachers in a regional school. Have the tissues ready! Also… The Things That Matter Most is currently being adapted for the screen. Woot! Woot! Now, I’m writing domestic noir with a chic-lit twist. The Angry Wives Club is my first book for disgruntled women and it certainly won’t be my last.
About Gabbie Stroud
Hello! I’m Gabbie Stroud, recovering teacher now turned writer. My non-fiction books and essays Teacher, Dear Parents and Teaching Australia explore “teacher life” in Australian schools. I also write fiction! The Things That Matter Most is a story about the heartbreaking secrets of one student and his teachers in a regional school. Have the tissues ready! Also… The Things That Matter Most is currently being adapted for the screen. Woot! Woot! Now, I’m writing domestic noir with a chic-lit twist. The Angry Wives Club is my first book for disgruntled women and it certainly won’t be my last.